Thursday, July 28, 2005

The Insatiable Beast

July 25th, 2005.

That date is now officially known as Christmas Push Day, 2005.

While walking through the mall on Monday, I saw a Christmas tree, proudly displayed in the Hallmark store window, its lights twinkling coyly at the passing shoppers.

Christmas is coming.

The summer is barely half over. It's 90+ degrees outside. The back-to-school stuff is just starting to appear in the stores. And yet, the Christmas push has already started.

What is wrong with this picture !?!?

You may remember that I whined about early Christmas celebrations in 2000 [2nd paragraph] and 2002 [4th paragraph]. Those years, the Christmas Push Days were August 8th and August 15th, respectively. This year, 2005, sets a new record - July 25th.

In actual fact, it started even earlier. There were two threads on the Weight Watchers message boards, on July 5th, discussing Christmas gifts. The 5th of July !! The day after our great nation's birthday, when barbecue season was in full effect and swimmers were out on the beach frolicking in their bikinis - and Internet users were sitting in front of their computers discussing Christmas ! I must admit that I was a little less than politically correct in my inflamed response to the original poster.

In the immortal words of the great Lewis Black, "Christmas is a beast that cannot be fed." No longer is only Thanksgiving overrun by this gluttonous, over-commercialized monster of a holiday. No, Christmas now steamrolls mercilessly over Halloween, Labor Day and even the not-so-happy children returning for another year at school. Chewing everything in its path, it obliterates all festivity and celebration of preceding holidays, monopolizing the consciousness of the public at large, and warping their minds into spending all they have and more on gifts and preparation almost a half a year in advance.

On Sunday, I saw a headline about Santa Claus on CNN's website. It must have been removed since then, because I can't find it now. But for the short time it was up, the insatiable beast that is Christmas was bellowing loud and clear.

And it's still the month of July.



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