Friday, March 21, 2008

If You Can't Take the Heat...

One of the homemade concoctions that Daniel enjoys for breakfast is "hot link and eggs". Basically, we take a hot link sausage, dice it, fry it in a pan, drain off the grease, add eggs, and stir until cooked. It is a perfect breakfast (or dinner) for a finicky 15-year-old that doesn't always like what we make here at home.

Lately, he has expressed an affinity for serrano chiles. These are the small, green peppers you find in the grocery store; smaller than jalapeƱos, and a hell of a lot spicier. Mixing a diced serrano with an already-spicy hot link is nothing short of a deadly combination. But he likes it.

As I was working from home today, and Daniel was off school, I nicely offered to make him his egg concoction when he lumbered down the stairs after a long night's sleep. Unfortunately, however, I forgot the chile. "No problem," he said, "I can add it after."

Big mistake.

These chiles, as I've already mentioned, are unbelievably spicy. Cooked into food, they add a nice hot flavor throughout the dish. Diced raw, however, they are killer.

Daniel finished his hot link and egg with raw chile concoction in his typical speedy fashion. Shortly afterward, I heard a painful howl emanating from the living room.

"Oh my GOD ! ", he screamed, "My mouth is burning !"

He darted by me and grabbed a Gatorade off the floor. Two seconds later, half the bottle had disappeared into his mouth.

"AHHH ! It's still hurting !"

"Try some milk."

"We don't have enough milk !"

"Try some ice cream, then. Dairy is really good for a burning mouth."

As he scooped his ice cream into a bowl, at 11:00 on a Friday morning, he lamented, "The seeds are stuck in my braces !". A few minutes, and one bowl of vanilla with chocolate sauce later, and all was well in the world again.

I looked at him as he was putting his bowl in the sink, and asked,

"After all that, was it worth it ?"

He smiled.

"Hell yeah."

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Public Service Announcement

If you have your work badge attached to one of those cheap badge-holders with the retractable string, it's really not a good idea to see how far and fast you can flick the thing in the air and watch it snap back toward your belt.

Especially when such action results in your badge flying 20 feet in the air and landing on top of the ductwork in a massive, high-ceiling data center.

Good job, coworker Peter ! Hats off to you for breaking the big air record for a work badge attached to a flimsy, breakable string.

He looked so humble, doing the walk of shame through the building and up front to the Security desk, to ask for a tall ladder to retrieve the precious flying badge.

The company doesn't supply free badge holders. We have to pay for them ourselves.

I think this is why.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Love and Zambonis

Last night was a perfect night to be at the Shark Tank, also known as HP Pavilion, home of our most awesome San Jose Sharks. The air was crisp, the sky was clear, and a sense of excitement and anticipation was abound as thousands of fans filed towards the arena.

This game was the craziest one I have ever had the pleasure and good fortune to witness. Four goals by the Sharks in the first period, one on a rare penalty shot. Thundering hits, fisticuffs and mayhem. A visit to our section by the beloved mascot Sharkie and his assistant (or "his bitch", as Derek so eloquently noted). The fun did not stop with the antics on the ice.

During the second intermission, the newly-renovated, HD-quality video screen flashed a pretty, heart-laden graphic emblazoned with the words "Kiss Cam". It then proceeded to focus on various couples in the audience, who complied by kissing for the whole arena to see.

When the camera landed on one particularly grumpy looking fellow and his female companion, he waved it off, shaking his head and refusing to comply. His female companion sat, looking embarrassed at the boos and jeers from the crowd. The cameraman, frustrated by the grumpy man's refusal, moved to a different man, a smiling, romantic type, who turned his hat backward and happily kissed his significant other. Then, the camera turned back to the grumpy man.

Grumpy Man had been schooled ! Hat Man had shown him how it was done, and now, it was up to him to prove his manhood. The whole stadium was watching. He could have redeemed himself at that moment, his moment in the spotlight -- but instead, chose to wave off the camera once more.

The stadium echoed with boos. Party pooper, he was.

The last camera shot in the set was a man and a woman, who looked incredulously at the crowd when they recognized themselves on the screen. The woman shook her head in disbelief. The crowd started booing again; was this another party pooper ?

Not quite.

The man pointed at his female companion, and distinctly mouthed,

"She's my sister."

Uncontrollable laughter ensued, from all 17,000 fans in attendance. Of all the couples to focus on, the cameraman had found a sibling pair, enjoying the game together on a Friday night.

Fun times, fun times.
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